Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Raising a Boy

I'll be honest, when I had my 20 week sonogram and found out that Milo was a boy I cried. I had desperately wanted a girl and was more than a little worried when I found out that then child I would be raising was going to be a boy. I was going to miss buying bows and tutus and dress and, lets face it, boys clothes and boring and ugly. But most of all I was worried that I never be able to understand my child, never able be able to relate to him or play with him on any kind of level that means anything to him. I'm a girly girl. I don't understand the appeal of things like trucks, cars, mud, bugs or sports. I like sparkles, makeup, pink, and dress up. I understand these things intuitively and understand WHY someone would like them.

Milo is a boy's boy. He loves all the traditional boy things that I don't understand. He is major cars and trucks right now and he and his daddy sit in the floor and play with his trucks all the time and they have a blast together doing it. I have to admit that I'm a little jealous so I decided to have my own bonding session with him playing trucks in to floor and it was a disaster. Apparently I don't do it right and it just kept frustrating him. He just kept screaming "NO!" at me over and over again whenever I would do something wrong. I just wanted to cry. I took this as a confirmation of all the fears that made me cry for days after that 20 week sonogram. That I wouldn't have what it took to raise a boy because I would never understand him. That bonding with him would be unnatural and hard because I don't love the things he loves.

Now don't get me wrong, just because it may be hard to bond with my son over the things he is into doesn't mean that it's hard to love him. I am 100%, hands down, all in, crazy in love with my son! I just have to find more creative ways to enter his life that are meaningful to HIM, not necessarily meaningful to me. I think that's important especially as he gets older. In that mean time I am going to have to try and get better at playing trucks!


Shannah said...

I'm sorry.

I'll bet you'll be surprised by what things Milo likes besides cars and trucks! My brother is a total man's man, but he liked to cook and make fun things in the kitchen. He liked to dig in the dirt (and I liked this, too). He liked to draw. There were things we could do together, even though I didn't know too much about cherry pickers and baseball.

Even if there are some things that Milo and Daddy do best together, I'll bet there are things that Milo and Mommy do best together, too.

Jill said...

That's why little boys need their daddys!

God teaches us from our children too. You will learn more than you want to know about these things!

Your bonding will be in reading to him about the things that are of high interest to him. Check out books by Donald Crews. (he writes about such stuff!)

Love you girl!